New experience

My experience at Bhubaneswar, the capital of Orissa
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After spending a reasonably decent life in the steel city Rourkela for three decades, I have just settled down at Bhubaneswar the capital of Orissa. And very frankly, my choice of Bhubaneswar to settle down fllowing my superannuation from SAIL, Rourkela Steel Plant is more out compelling family necessities rather than for any real love of the fastest growing city of Eastern India.
Let me describe my experience in Bhubaneswar during my stay in the last three months.
Electricity: Without this, life will come to a stand still in a modern society. There is so called surplus electricity in Orissa but be careful about your gadgets which run on electric supply in Bhubaneswar. The other day I was talking to a young man using a Xerox Machine when suddenly the voltage dropped. I asked him “do you get low voltage?”
“Sir, do you have similar problem?”
“Yes, we do get as low as 150 volts.”
”You are lucky sir; ours will be 90 at times!”
One of my relative had a burnt DVD and TV near Lewis road due to high voltage. Do you know India holds the world record of using the maximum number of voltage stabilizer in the world, go and get it now!

Traffic: Chaotic is the word I can use without blinking an eyelid. If you follow the traffic rule you are in problem if not there will be disaster and you have to bribe the police to get out of the harassment which awaits you at the police station. The roads are peculiar, so also the traffic police. The traffic police or the home guards stand at such places that you may not notice them at all. At some places the digital traffic signal may confuse you with the digits. The best way is you follow another larger vehicle in front of you and follow it to escape accidents and fines. Every one is in a hurry to overtake you. Never venture to go out during office or school hours or the evening hours. Better you wear helmets inside your four wheelers. It’s better to travel by auto rickshaw than going out with your own car. If you are going out by two wheelers it’s better to insure yourself and your vehicle. Always avoid the road in front of the Orissa Assembly Hall (Mahatma Gandhi road)
Banking: Take a day off or go to bank towards the end of the month. Never go to the main branch (SBI) unless you have no other alternatives.
Medical: Too many doctors but people prefer to go out side the state. Investigations are done from head to toe for any reason. Sometimes, one can notice more number of doctors than patients in medical colleges. You must carry plenty of money if you want to go to a private hospital or nursing homes. People do not carry a good impression about the medical expertise in the capital, even though brilliant doctors are there in the city.
Literary activities: Unless you have three letter qualifications at the end of your name try not to venture into this field or else you may have to plunge fast into depression. Unless there is a dinner or lunch after the meeting, no one except the organizer will turn up at literary functions.
ATM: Always keep patience in the queue and never advise anyone on manners or rules. It may so happen that you may have to return home with a black eye and empty pocket.
Govt.office: Always manage your entry through a broker or middle man. Otherwise you may have to purchase a new pair of slippers.
Attitude: "I am alright so who bothers". Me first is the norm here. “Pahele Aap” is a part of history.
Vegetables: Carry plenty of money or you may starve. Local vegetables are cheap and plenty. One can affprd to become a total vegetarian here.But you've to forget about capsicum, carrots and beans. These are very costly as it's brought from Bangalore (in summer months)
Fish: All types and very tasty too. From Rs: 60 to Rs: 600, you get all types of fish.
Fruits: Banana is available round the year and is of very high quality. Summer months are mango eaters’ delight.. You will enjoy them.
Friends and relatives: Send them a vehicle or you may not get any one in your house. They may talk to you (over phone) or give a missed call at times. Keep a good relationship with your neighbor for emergencies.
Public: Never ask for any advice or you may regret.
All said and done Bhubaneswar is the capital of Orissa and is fast developing to become a city of big bazaars and a heaven for criminals.
This is a satire, and its not to be taken seriously. There may be some error of judgment by the writer on this topic. However. if you agree on some points, do write in the following address.
sanjoysatpathy@rediffmail.com