18 December 2016

Bearded Men

After the court directed that “military personals must follow a uniform guideline, hence beards are out.”But the Lodha committee has not instructed any such guidelines for Indian cricket players. Probably keeping beards means aggressiveness and confuses the opposition about the place of origin of an individual. Cricket players follow many “tabiz”, beard and wearing reflective glasses are some of them.
1. People think bearded men have higher social status2.Bearded men seem more aggressive3.Beards advertise men’s health: 1982 paper in Science that bearded men are advertising their healthy immune systems: Beards, like other body hair, are a known breeding ground for parasites. Recently, they’ve been shown to host bed bugs and sand fleas.4.Want to Look Older and More Aggressive? Grow a Beard
                                                  The other day I was walking in the nearby university campus which has four ATM machines.  Even before demonetization all these machines were either closed or did not have enough money. I asked the security guard why they do not keep enough of currency. He said ‘sir, all those boys and girl with draw two hundred or three hundred rupees only, plus risky business.’
“But why” I asked.
“Load karnese to” (he meant that unless their parents load from other side they can’t draw more. Most of them are from Jharkhand or Bihar)
I observed that most of the boys are keeping beard like film star Ranbir Singh or Indian cricket players. Just to please the Indian captain almost all the other players are keeping beard. Poor Gautam Gambhir and Saha the wicket keeper did not keep beard hence dropped from the side. They call it “beard” leadership.
Rahul Gandhi started keeping beard when his adviser Choeimein asked him to do so. Choe impressed Rahul with names of Abraham Lincoln,WGGrace,KarlMarx, Tagore,MFHussain and many famous personality who kept beard.Rahul a less educated person with low IQ could not make out that beards improves the image or image improves the beard? You see, Modijee has beard! To counter act him you must keep beard like him. But his mother at times got confused his son’s face with Modijee; hence she called a barber from Asoka Hotel and shaved him clean. Astrologers advised to Rahul baba was that he should be clean shaved like film heroines to attract votes. He is confused hence he keeps beard at times and removes it when his mother calls the barber.
Earlier days if someone kept an unshaven face his friends and relatives knew that he has lost some one near and dear relative. I had a friend at Rourkela who used to clean shave his face and head after the 10th day of the function of any influential person’s mother or wife’s death. Just to please the officer so that mine friend’s files moved faster.
Then we had Devdas era, beard and unshaven face means disappointment in love or under depression. Some people stopped shaving due to too many pimples on face. Few IT experts do not shave so that they can remain in bed for longer time. Few keep beards for safety so that drug addicts would not get confused him with  her.
Recently I attended an interstate marriage reception where the barat had come from North India, Kornal.Every one of them was looking like Indian Cricket Captain except few ladies. The beard culture and the military cutting hair style is going to stay for some time till some film star and cricket player change it to another ‘monkey style’ fashion design. Or our highest court directs all true Indians to be clean shaved or pay fine of five thousand rupees through case less transactions.“Every odd is style” some famous bearded person had said.
Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy
(A satire)

No comments:

Post a Comment