14 August 2017

A SATIRE FOR PEOPLE WITH SENSE OF SATIRE

Mr country man:

I have been giving lecturers through out the year both inside and out side the country
hence there is nothing more to say on this day.From today on-wards this is what your government
and my government are going to do--known as Bharat Mataki--15 points programs.
1.IPL will be stopped from this year and will be played once in 4 years.It will be between top ten Ranji trophy teams.
Athletes will not be sent for international meets for 8 years, till they improve their performance and promise to get 10% medals  per number of persons going out for the meet.
2.New Hindi film production will be limited to 10 only and total films in the country will not be more than 30 per year.
3.Film stars ,cricket players salary will be less than president of India's salary by ten rupees.
4.Our war budget will be reduced by 30%.
5.Train speed will be reduced to 100 kilometers for express trains and 50 kilometers for passenger trains.
6.There will be only four closed holidays in banks, post office and government office in a year.
7.Separate hospitals for SC-ST patients.Where the employees will be from SC-ST only.
8.Prostitution will be legalized.
9.There will be separate sports event for transgender woman.
10.There will be no central aid to any state where the CM can not read or write or speak the language of the state properly.
11.Alcohol and drugs will be freely available in the country, aadhaar card mandatory
12.Due to wood shortage the dead bodies will be buried or donated to zoos.
13.Shoot at sight for rail line or road blockers
14.No income tax for family with more than four children.
15.Black people will get 20% rebate in all food items.

will meet next year if all of us are alive till then.PM India--JAI HIND.

13 August 2017

WOODEN SPOON



In last Olympics this is what was offered to those returned empty handed in N.Korea, where as in India the state or central or both government pays $5000 for just participating in an international tournament? With this type of attitude our country will never improve in any game except cricket because only 10 countries play it.

Failed to bag medals at Olympics, N Korean athletes asked to work in coal mines

After the Rio Olympics 2016 came to an end, it has emerged that prior to the games, the North Korean supremo Kim Jong-un had threatened the country's athletes to return home with at least 17 medals.
While the country had set a target of 17 medals, including five golds, the athletes managed to bag two golds, three silvers and two bronzes.
According to a report in The Sun, since their return, the 31-member athlete contingent has been under fire from the country's tyrant who has asked them work in coal mines.
"Those who won medals will be rewarded with better housing allocations, better rations, a car and maybe other gifts from the regime," said Shigemura, a professor at Tokyo's Waseda University.
He further said, "Those he feels have let him down are likely to be punished by being moved to poorer quality housing, having their rations reduced and, in the worst-case scenario, being sent to the coal mines as punishment."

05 August 2017

PATRIOTIC INDIANS



Patriotic Thoughts?
Remember Dr. Johnson’s wisdom: “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel”.
Do we have Patriotic politicians?
Do our cricket player and sports person patriotic who fix matches?
Purchasing Islands by the Hindi Film stars and sports person are they Patriotic?
What is patriotism? Just by staying at home and watching the tricolor flag being hoisted at Delhi—Lal Killa, on Television?
Respect for the country's flag, a desire to see your nation succeed, and a deep, abiding love of your country are all patriotic expressions, but being patriotic doesn't mean you think your country's perfect — just that you love it.
Staying in comfort in NJ and supporting Indian cricket team is not patriotism!


Watching junk Indian Hindi films and telling “wonderful’ is not patriotism?
Selling off the gifted and tax rebate car is not patriotism?
Wearing Luis Philip shirts and using imported gadgets is not patriotism?
The country has a variety of citizens and each and every citizen contributes or makes India what it is at present. Some of the citizens are highly conscious of their actions and wish to change the country for the better, a few are those who are too busy dealing with their own lives and seldom think about where the country is going, and the rest are – well, just there, doing almost nothing for the country. The problem is that the current state of the country ends up being a struggle for the conscious citizen and a gala time for the ones who are not bothered, but the world knows that a day will come when the conscious citizen will change the social landscape of our country. They will rule the nation and make it worth living in.
India has a lot of drawbacks too and it is the responsibility of the citizens to do away with them. Hence, a patriotic citizen will voice his opinions on the wrong doings that happen in the country and about the things that are unjust, only to free the country from any sort of injustice.
August Month is a Patriotic Month of the year:

31 July 2017

CHANGI AIRPORT


Sanjoy and Kalyani at Changi Air Port-Singapore .Golden Kinetic Rain at the entrance of the world No:1 airport                  
                                  

FAITHFUL FRIEND:


Five years back before the BJ apartment was built, this young boy Bimal was the security person to guard the cement, rods and wooden frames of the contractor.There was no electricity for him.He used to cook his own food and stay in a ten feet by six feet store room, climbing a temporary wooden staircase.A stray dog gave birth to three pups, only one survived.Her mother abandoned her when this unknown boy started to feed his left overs to the little one.He named it blacky.Gradually a bondage developed between them. As she grew up she started guarding that locality and the store room.On dark nights she was the only companion of that young man.A risky job with lakhs of hardware to guard.I used to watch the real life drama through my bedroom window at night.Due to litigation and other legal problems the apartment took a very long time to complete but the faithful duo stayed till the construction was over.
The young boy left due to non payment of his dues.Blacky was abandoned but she continued her job and was waiting for her friend to return in the evening.Blacky would howl and cry but to no avail, she was missing her friend.
I developed pity for blacky and fed her our left overs.She is now mother of six children but has shifted her home near to a newly built Sai temple very near to our house.Earlier the people of this locality used to throw stone and kill dogs but once the Sai temple got completed dogs are safe and in great demand, as Sai baba was a lover of animals, specially dogs.
Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy



28 July 2017

NEWS-VIEWS



   ନୂଆ ଖବର କାଗଜ :
( କିଛିଲୋକ ସ୍ଥିର କରିଛନ୍ତି ଗୋଟାଏ ପୃଷ୍ଠାବାଲା  ଖବର କାଗଜ ବାହାର କରିବେ ! ଦାମିରହିବ ୫୦ ପଇସା ! କେବଳ ଦରକାରିଖବର ରହିବ ଅଦରିକାରୀ  ଖବର ପଢିବା ପାଇଁ ଲୋକଙ୍କ ପାଖରେ ମୋବାଇଲ ଅଛି!ପ୍ରତେକ ଖବର ପରେ ପ୍ରକାଶକଙ୍କ ମନ୍ତବ୍ୟ ଥିବ ? ଏହି ଖବରକାଗଜରେ ବଳାତ୍କାର,ଦୁର୍ଘଟଣା,ମୃତ୍ୟୁ ମନ୍ତ୍ରୀ କିମ୍ବା ସ୍ତ୍ରୀଲୋକଙ୍କ ଫଟୋ ପ୍ରକାଶିତ ହବନାହିଁ !
କେବଳ ଭଲ ଖବର ହିଁ ପ୍ରକାଶ ପାଇବ ! ଖବର କାଗଜକୁ ଅଭିଯୋଗ ପତ୍ରିକା କରିବାକୁ  ଆମର ଇଛା ନାହିଁ ! ସେମାନେ ଅନ୍ୟ ଖବରକାଗଜ କିଣନ୍ତୁ !ପାଞ୍ଚ ମିନିଟରେ ଖବର ଶେଷ !)
            (ନାମକରଣ ଆପଣମାନେ କରନ୍ତୁ)
1.ବିରାଟ ଗଟବନ୍ଧନ ଭୁଶୁଡିପଡିଲା ବିହାରରେ ! ମା-ପୁଅ ଯଉଁଠାରେ ସେଠାରେ ସବୁ ଭୁଶୁଡିପଡିବ ! ଆହୁରି କେତେ ଭୁସୁଡ଼ିଯିବ ଦେଖ ?
2.ଖଣିଦୁର୍ନୀତିରୁନିଜକୁ ରକ୍ଷାପାଇଁ କୁଆଡେ ଦୁଇ ଦଳବିହାର ଭଳି ମିଶିଯିବେକି?ଗୁଜବ ଉଠୁଛି ନୟାପଲ୍ଲୀ ଅଂଚଳରେ !
3.ଓଡ଼ିଶାନଦୀରେ ବନ୍ୟା ! ବର୍ଷାଦିନରେ ବନ୍ୟାତ ଶହଶହ ବର୍ଷ ହେଲା ହଉଛି ଏଥିରେ ନୂଆ କଥା କଣ?
4.ନବୀନ କୁହନ୍ତି ସିଏ ବଳାତ୍କାର ଭ୍ରଷ୍ଟାଚାର ଓଡିଶାରୁ ନିର୍ବିପାତ କରିଦେବେ ୨୦୨୦ ବେଳକୁ ! କରନ୍ତୁ ଭଲ କଥା ? ସେତେଵେଳକୁ ଥିଲେତ?
5.ବିଦେଶିନୀଙ୍କୁ ପୋଲିସ ପଟିଆ ଅଞ୍ଚଳରୁଧରିଲା ! ପଟିଆକୁ ଥାଇଲାଣ୍ଡର ପଟାୟା ସହିତ ଭ୍ରମ ହବା ସ୍ୱାଭାବିକ ! ନୀଳବଟିକାର ପ୍ରଭାବ !ଇଣ୍ଡିଆ, ବିଦେଶୀ ମାନଙ୍କୁ କେତେ ଚାକିରିଦଉଛି ସେଇଟା ଦେଖିବା କଥା !ପୋଲିସ ଅନ୍ୟକାମରେ ମନଦିଅନ୍ତୁ !
6.ଶିକ୍ଷକଙ୍କ ଅଭାବ ! ଛାତ୍ରତ ନାହାନ୍ତି ଶିକ୍ଷକ କଣ କରିବେ?ସାରେଙ୍କୁତ ସିଖାଇ ପାରିଲେ ନାହିଁ ଶିକ୍ଷକଗଣ, ରହିବା ନରହିବା ସମାନ ! ସରକାରୀ ସ୍କୁଲ ସବୁତ ଭାଗବତ ଠୂଙ୍ଗି ହୋଇଗଲାଣି !
7.ମେଣ୍ଢାଙ୍କୁ ମାରୁଥିବା ଜନ୍ତୁଟା କେଉଁ ରାଜନୀତିଦଳର ସେଇକଥା ଜଣା ପଡୁନାହିଁ !ଓଡ଼ିଶାରେ କେବେ ଠାରୁ ଛେଳି ବଦଳରେ ମେଣ୍ଢା ପୋଷା ଯାଉଛି?ମେଣ୍ଢାମାଂସାରେ କଣ ବେଶୀ ଫାଇଦା? ସବୁ ଅଦ୍ଭୁତ ଘଟଣା ନିଆଳି, ଜଗତସିଂପୁର,କେନ୍ଦ୍ରାପଡା  କଟକ ପାଖପୁଖି ଜିଲ୍ଲାରେ କାହିଁକି ବେଶିହୁଏ? ଯିମିତି ବେଶୀ ସ୍ୱଧିନତାସଂଗ୍ରାମୀ ଏହିଅଞ୍ଚଳର, ସେଇଭଳି କି?
8.ବ୍ରାହ୍ମଣୀ ନଦୀ ଉପରେ ନୂଆପୋଲ ହବାର ସମ୍ଭାବନା ! ନାମକରଣ ନେଇ  ମାରପିଟ ଚାଲିଛି ? ମରା ସହରରେ କଣ ଦରକାର ଥିଲା?
9.ସାପକାମୁଡାରେ ସ୍ତ୍ରୀର ମୃତ୍ୟୁ ! ସରକାର କହିଛନ୍ତି ଦିନରେ ଶୋଇବା ପାଇଁ ଏବଂ  ରାତିରେ କାମକର !
10.ଡାକ୍ତରମାନେ ସାପ ଡରରେ ଗାଁକୁ ଜିବାପାଇଁ ମନା କରୁଛନ୍ତି  !ସରକାର ଦ୍ବନ୍ଦରେ?
11.ମନ୍ଦିର ଭିତରୁ ସାପ ଉଦ୍ଧାର ! ସୁରକ୍ଷିତ ସ୍ଥାନ, ସେଇଥିପାଇଁ ସେମାନେ ସେଠାରେ ରୁହନ୍ତି ,ନହେଲେ ସୁନା ସବୁ ଚୋରି ହୋଇଯିବଯେ ?
12."ଡାଉରୀ କଥାରେ ପୋଲିସ ଏରେଷ୍ଟ କରିପାରିବନାହିଁ ବିନା ପ୍ରମାଣରେ"କହିଲେ ସୁପ୍ରିମ କୋର୍ଟ ! ଏସବୁକଥା ବାହାଘର ପୂର୍ବରୁ ସମାଧାନ କରି ନିମନ୍ତ୍ରଣ ପତ୍ର ଛାପନ୍ତୁ ନହେଲେ ପୁଅକୁ ଅବିବାହିତା ରଖନ୍ତୁ ! ପୋଲିସ କୋର୍ଟର କଣ ଅନ୍ୟକାମନାହିଁ ? 
13.ନୂଆ ବିଲ୍ଲ ଆସୁଛି --ଡାକ୍ତରଖାନାରେ ମଲେ ଵିମାନଟଙ୍କା ମିଳିବନାହିଁ !ହସ୍ପିଟାଲ ଭିଡଟା ଟିକେ କମିବ ?
14.ମଦତି ଗଂଜଡ଼ ମାନଙ୍କୁ ୧୦% ଟାକ୍ସ ରିହାତି ଦିଆଯିବ?(କେବଳ ଓଡିଶା ପାଇଁ)
15.ଯଉଁ ଘରେ କାର ନଥିବ ସେମାନଙ୍କୁ ୨୦% ଟାକ୍ସ ରିହାତି ମିଳିବ!(ବିଲ୍ଲ ପାସ ହୋଇ ନାହିଁ)
16.ସାନି ଆଉ ଲଙ୍ଗଳା ସିନେମା କରିବେ ନାହିଁ ! ଏହା ଶୁଣି  ବହୁତ ସିନେମାହଲ ବନ୍ଦ ହବା   ଉପରେ!
17.ସବୁ ବର୍ଷ ଭଳି ଭାରତୀୟ ମାନେ ତମ୍ବାରେ ସନ୍ତୁଷ୍ଟ ରହିଲେ ! ଆଶା ନିରାଶା ହେଲା ! 
  ଛାତ ଭୁଷୁଡ଼ା ଖବର:
A.ଟମାଟୋ କିଣୁଥିବା ଲୋକଙ୍କ ଘରେ ସିବିଆଇ ଚଢ଼ାଉ ! ଆଗରୁହବାର ଥିଲା !
B.ଘରେ ଷଣ୍ଢକୁ ପୋଷିଲା ବାଲାଙ୍କୁ ଟାକ୍ସ ରିବେଟି ମିଳିବ ଏବଂ ନୀଳ କାର୍ଡ ମିଳିବ,ଯଉଁଥିରେକି ଜିବି ଡାଟା ମୁଫ୍ଟ ?
ଆପଣଙ୍କ ଦିନଟା ଭଲରେ କଟୁ !