CELEBRATING WITH YOUR TOILET:
“Doctor Sahib, please do something or else I am going to
die!”Retired head master Minaketan babu putting his hands over the belly said,
agony written all over his unshaven face.
“Unless you tell me what your problem is, how can I help
you?” replied Doctor Shankar while looking at the SMS in his smart phone.
“I have not passed stool for last eleven days to be precise”.
Minaketan sir said while looking at the company gifted wall clock fixed just
behind the doctor.
“So what? The world record is more than hundred days, so why
do you worry?”Doctor retorted back.
“But sir it’s my bad habit of going to toilet twice in a day
but that has totally stopped!” an aggrieved Minaketan sir replied.
“Tell me, if your
appetite is good and you are taking normal food?”Doctor Shankar asked.
“What do you mean by normal
food doctor? Yes I am on rice and Roti with Bengal Grams.”
:”Why? You must take plenty of vegetables for good bowl movement;
don’t you know that, being a teacher?”
: “Doctor, if you do not mind I will ask you a question, who
does your marketing for the house?”
: “You see my wife and me take our food mostly in hotels and
restaurants, around three hundred days in a year. That’s the beauty of having a
wife who too is also a doctor.” commented the overweight gastroenterologist.
: “That’s the problem sir. Our politicians and rich people
like you are not aware of the situation faced by common men. If someone points
out the price factor, someone would snub us telling that our vegetables, food
grains & other essential goods are still the cheapest in comparison to
other developed countries in the world.”
“Yes, that’s right.
Cows eat vegetables, me don’t like it either.” commented doctor, Shankar.
“Doctor I am a retired
teacher. The bank interest has gone down, inflation is killing us. The money
which I kept in Bank may get exhausted very soon, unfortunately those like me
who retired from PSU sectors do not get pension. May be after few months I have
to apply for a BPL card which is not easy to get for people like me! I am not a
doctor or a film star to earn till my last breath.” the retired head master
said in a depressed tone.
“That’s your problem,
do not waste my time further or else I would charge double my fees over and
above more constipated patients might be waiting outside. These medicines would
be much cheaper and better than your insecticide spayed costly vegetables. Take
a vitamin pill to compensate.” interjected doctor rather sadistically.
“Sorry sir, please
prescribe some medicine which would save me either way.”
“You take this liquid
twice a day till vegetables become cheaper.”
After paying the
consultation fees, Minaketan Babu walked to the nearest medicine shop. The pharmacists
told him that these laxatives are in great demand and are out of stock due to
increase in senior citizen population and vegetable price. Our head master left
with a heavy heart and tried three more shops with similar results. Next day
our Minaketan sir, along with more constipated senior citizens were seen moving
towards lower PMG square with candles& ply cards written all over-“Down
with constipation” to celebrate the
World Toilet Day with a hope that media or some politician might help them to
overcome their problems.
Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy
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