HELPING YOUR ENEMY

     Sportive gesture by Australian,David Warner.Here he is helping Chrish Gayle to get up.Match betwwen RCB VS SUNRISERS,HYDRABAD---IPL FINAL-2016.Sunrisers won by 8 runs.

DRUG OLYMPICS

                                                               Drug Olympic

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             Human body has certain limitation as regards physical strength, endurance, reflex and stability but experts say with drugs these limitations can be overcome, hence the doping test in sports. 

                              Imagine an Olympic with drugs. Here all athletes are allowed to take anything they like; there will be no restrictions on drug and no dope test as the name signifies. Even the public will be allowed to take beer (free with tickets, maximum 1000ml), it will be like the IPL cricket tournament in India.

There will be no boring events like marathon race, walking events, sword fight, and animal participation. Total period will be for five nights only. Except the referees, camera men, officials’ rest of the people in the stadium can smoke, take drugs. The athletes will not be asked which drug they take, not even the champions. There will be no sex bar. Ladies too can participate along with men and there will be no separate events for ladies but for each event there will be special prizes for ladies. An event where a lady comes first then the males participating in that event has to drink the urine of that lady. This is done to discourage under performance by male athletes and substandard participants. There will be no dress codes for participants.

What is the advantage of this type of Special Olympics?

You save the agony of the athletes. Millions of dollars are saved as laboratory staffs and chemicals will not be required for the dope tests.

As such most of the champions of past and present used performance enhancing drugs but went Scot free because of wrong sampling, faulty technique, bribery, money power and political interference. Take the case of Mario Jones, she was a different type of lady to have confessed about taking drugs otherwise I think eight out of ten famous sports person take some form of drugs, be it in form of a diet (dogs meat, bull’s fat, tiger’s testes etc) or medicines or other methods which is not known to the doping experts.

If that be so let’s see, what maximum a human body can achieve in field events or other games and then compare them with the so called drug free sports stars? But the question is, was there a really drug free Olympic in recent years, say in last twenty years?

So friends let’s wait for the sponsors to have an Olympic that will have retired or not getting a chance(dropped)  or banned athletes or those who do not want to participate in drug free Olympics. The prize money will be $50000(1st prize)$25000(2nd) $10000(3rd) but if tested negative for drugs he or she will be disqualified for next year. This Special Olympics will be held just six months prior to the main Olympics.

The peculiarity of this “Olympic” will be maximum 50 athletes’ will be allowed to participate from one country, no officials. The leader from each country has to be from the participating athletes of that country. Any individual can participate for any country but he has to become a citizen for at least two years before the event.

An event like this can only be held in a country where drugs are freely available and there is no punishment for drug users.

After an internet voting, the venue for the first “drug Olympic” will be decided. The dates will be informed in due time.

I wish some business house picks up this” golden Hen” and start the event before it’s too late. If a human body can run 100 meters in 5 seconds with drugs, then let it be why to stop this exciting future prospect of science and human limits? I think it’s worth it to get a gold and $50000 with drugs then lead a drug free life without achieving any thing in life!!, why not die young(adverse effects of drugs) doing something which people will remember for hundreds of years, the choice is yours—“go and get it”. After the ‘Drug Olympic’ there will be analysis with other Olympics records, if no statistical difference then no point in drug testing in further events.

NB: This is a satire but who knows it may be a reality in future.

Written by Dr.Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

House no4, Plot401/2362

At post: Patia

Bhubaneswar751031, India

MISSING WIFE

MERA NAAM JOKER

AND

A MISSING WIFE:

                                                  His name was Sudarsan, an absent minded doctor. He would take out other doctor’s ambassador car and keep it in his own garage without realizing his mistake. He would wear other doctor’s shirt after coming out of the operation theater. Not once but twice he went out to station one day after the train had left , because he got confused with 00:30 hours but was very particular about money matters.

Once he took his newly married beautiful wife for a night show film at Razak Talkies of Rourkela. That locality was like the Kashmira Gate area of Delhi, dangerous at night. The film was Mera Nam Joker, a long Hindi film with two interval  produced and directed by famous  Raj Kapoor which Indian public failed to understand. The film ended at 01:30 hours .Sudarsan had got a Vespa Scooter as gift which he had taken to the cinema hall, a soundless scooter.

After bringing out the scooter from the stand after producing the receipt from his wife’s bag he came to the main road. It was an early winter night, Sudarsan was wearing a muffler to counter act the cold wind while driving a two wheeler. His wife Preeti was very thin, hardly 47 kg in weight, very shy type of lady. Wearing a sari means one had to sit with the legs to one side, foot resting on a foot rest and holding husband’s belly or the hook behind the driver’s seat for a balance. Sudarsan without looking back presumed his wife has occupied the pinion seat and drove off the scooter and started talking with his nonexistent wife about the film and asked her to keep the house key ready. After driving for about ten minutes Sudarsan was annoyed because Preeti did not answer about the dinner they were going to eat at night? He searched for her soft hands with his left hand but it was a blank seat! He stopped the scooter and made an about turn to the same place where he had left his wife amidst ruffians. A newly married lady with a red sari and gold ornaments meant a dangerous combination at night asking for trouble. He was imaging many things and was more worried about the banging he would get rather than her safety.

                                                                                     Sudarsan returned to the same spot where he had left his wife. She was guarded by few male volunteers of that locality for her safety; time was 01:45 hours. Remember no mobile no PCR those days. Preeti with tears in her eyes kept quite but those people around her scolded Sudarsan in all sorts of slang language. Sudarsan did not utter a single word and kept a deafening silence, he knew it was a big mistake and anything could have happened to her but he was lucky it was not 2014 but 1974.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy.

WATER TANKER

WATER TANKER AND A DRY WELL:

                                                                            There was rapid drop in subsoil water lever in certain parts of Bhubaneswar. People knew this is going to happen but as usual blamed the government for the water problem. One such senior retired central Government officer who had never experienced water scarcity in his life was a victim to this sub soil water problem. He had given the upper floor of his house on rent for rupees ten thousand. The tenant was furious for the water problem and threatened the owner Mr. Paul, that he would deduct money for the tanker charges. There was scarcity of municipality water supply too due to dry river beds. Mr. Paul had an old fashioned ‘well’ but due to poor maintenance that too had gone almost dry.

The water problem became more serious and there was lots of exchange of offensive language between the two ladies, lady of the house and the tenant’s wife. Ultimately a consensus was arrived when they agreed to share the cost of the water tanker in equal parts. The tanker was called over phone and it reached by 11am when the temperature had touched 40degree centigrade at Lewis road locality of Bhubaneswar. Earlier they used to call it a ‘temple city’, and then they called it ‘smart city’ now they call it ‘blast furnace city’.

That was a huge tanker, cost was Rs: 1000/- for the water. The problem was where to store three thousand gallons of water? The ladies decided that the safe place would be the ‘well’. The tanker fellow connected the hose pipe to the well and evacuated the contents, took the money and left in a hurry. Now the tenant and the house owner were relieved of the tension for the next few days, as three thousand gallons of water was not a small amount, they thought. After few hours the water pump was started to fill up the over head tank of the house but there was no sound of water being pumped to the top floor. The servant went to the top and told the owner that no water is being pumped; probably there was something wrong with the pump.

The pump was checked and found to be in working condition, and then why no water was being pumped, was the question. The servant looked at the well and said “madam there is no water in the well”. One thousand rupees and three thousand gallons of clean water have gone in the drain within three hours. Probably the water was sucked dry by the negative pressure of the subsoil water level. Till the last hour we were informed that they have purchased few big plastic buckets and have constructed a big cement tanks inside the bathroom. The tenant has left the rented house and has started to stay in a nearby hotel, till the water condition improved. The hotel bill would be adjusted with the house rent in subsequent months. That locality was making news like a laughter show, when people came to know about ‘storing water in a dry well’.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

FAMILY RADIO:

FAMILY RADIO:

Our family’s most exciting purchase was a Phillips electricity operated Radio at Baripada house, during 1955-6. The specialty of that set was; it had a 13 meter band. On that particular band one can listen to radio Australia cricket news and commentary. There was a standing instruction for everyone, not to operate the radio during father’s absence and during thunder storms. There was an external aerial fixed at the top of the house with two tall bamboos, still then the voice had many breaks and cracking noise as the technology had not developed much. Fixing radio Australia was an art, which needed delicate movement of the curser and lots and lots of patience. Two other powerful stations adjacent to radio Australia, China and Moscow would change the wavelength very frequently. That was the main attraction of our house for the neighbors. Our grand father came all the way to Baghda Road residence of Baripada, from village to watch this costly purchase of his son, a miracle. Father’s radio infused interest in our family, so much so that three of his sons played cricket at the university level and two at zonal level. With a salary of 165 rupees that radio was a big purchase. It lasted for many years without any repair.

My elder brother took it to Calcutta Philips house for repair, where the mechanic told him to throw it at Hooghly River. My brother brought it back to Balasore and a small road side fellow repaired it for two rupees and that Radio was in working condition even after 25 years. Those days the present culture of use and throw had not spread amongst the old timers. The wife and even a shaving brush lasted for their life time. Today’s technology might have improved tremendously but it’s engineered in such a way that after five years one would be compelled to sell it or buy another in exchange. There is some news of wife swapping in certain segment of the society; hence time is not far-off when the exchange offer may be legalized like gay marriage, and this ‘swapping idea’ may catch up with the next generation?

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy.