Bearded Men

BEARDED MEN:

After the court directed that “military personals must follow a uniform guideline, hence beards are out.”But the Lodha committee has not instructed any such guidelines for Indian cricket players. Probably keeping beards means aggressiveness and confuses the opposition about the place of origin of an individual. Cricket players follow many “tabiz”, beard and wearing reflective glasses are some of them.

1. People think bearded men have higher social status2.Bearded men seem more aggressive3.Beards advertise men’s health: 1982 paper in Science that bearded men are advertising their healthy immune systems: Beards, like other body hair, are a known breeding ground for parasites. Recently, they’ve been shown to host bed bugs and sand fleas.4.Want to Look Older and More Aggressive? Grow a Beard

                                                  The other day I was walking in the nearby university campus which has four ATM machines.  Even before demonetization all these machines were either closed or did not have enough money. I asked the security guard why they do not keep enough of currency. He said ‘sir, all those boys and girl with draw two hundred or three hundred rupees only, plus risky business.’

“But why” I asked.

“Load karnese to” (he meant that unless their parents load from other side they can’t draw more. Most of them are from Jharkhand or Bihar)

I observed that most of the boys are keeping beard like film star Ranbir Singh or Indian cricket players. Just to please the Indian captain almost all the other players are keeping beard. Poor Gautam Gambhir and Saha the wicket keeper did not keep beard hence dropped from the side. They call it “beard” leadership.

Rahul Gandhi started keeping beard when his adviser Choeimein asked him to do so. Choe impressed Rahul with names of Abraham Lincoln,WGGrace,KarlMarx, Tagore,MFHussain and many famous personality who kept beard.Rahul a less educated person with low IQ could not make out that beards improves the image or image improves the beard? You see, Modijee has beard! To counter act him you must keep beard like him. But his mother at times got confused his son’s face with Modijee; hence she called a barber from Asoka Hotel and shaved him clean. Astrologers advised to Rahul baba was that he should be clean shaved like film heroines to attract votes. He is confused hence he keeps beard at times and removes it when his mother calls the barber.

Earlier days if someone kept an unshaven face his friends and relatives knew that he has lost some one near and dear relative. I had a friend at Rourkela who used to clean shave his face and head after the 10^th day of the function of any influential person’s mother or wife’s death. Just to please the officer so that mine friend’s files moved faster.

Then we had Devdas era, beard and unshaven face means disappointment in love or under depression. Some people stopped shaving due to too many pimples on face. Few IT experts do not shave so that they can remain in bed for longer time. Few keep beards for safety so that drug addicts would not get confused him with  her.

Recently I attended an interstate marriage reception where the barat had come from North India, Kornal.Every one of them was looking like Indian Cricket Captain except few ladies. The beard culture and the military cutting hair style is going to stay for some time till some film star and cricket player change it to another ‘monkey style’ fashion design. Or our highest court directs all true Indians to be clean shaved or pay fine of five thousand rupees through case less transactions.“Every odd is style” some famous bearded person had said.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

(A satire)

MINING DUTY

A Mining Duty to Remember:
                                                      Purunapani is a dolomite limestone quarry (PL&DQ) in Sundargarh district of Odisha, is around forty kilometers from Rourkela Township. That place and the colony were under Rourkela Steel Plant with one small hospital to look after the mining workers, tribal population and their relatives.
                                     That was a month of April and summer was palpable. The connivance was provided by the RSP transport department, through an out sourced Ambassador Taxi. Sanjoy with two more doctors, a gynecologist and a pediatrician were to visit that Purunapani hospital but at the last moment other two dropped out and Sanjoy was the only doctor to visit that hospital on that day. After reaching the guest house around lunch hour Sanjoy was served with piping hot rice, fish curry, salad and a vegetable curry followed by Chenapodo.He was asked to take some rest and proceed to the hospital at 4PM.
                                                         There were only three patients in the medicine outdoor and one paediatric patient. As there was no more patients the compounder of that hospital requested Sanjoy to take a pregnant patient in the taxi to IGH, she was in labour pain. The taxi driver was reluctant to take that private patient for a three hours bumpy ride. There was no lady doctor on that day and the nurse on duty was not competent enough to handle a primi.Sanjoy being a medicine specialist was hesitant because of two reasons, one if she delivered on the way and child dies or mother bleeds too much then? The driver was also hesitant. The mother in law of that lady begged Sanjoy to help her, as there was no other transport in that locality. The only RSP-ambulance had a very weak battery hence the driver refused to go.
                                                      Sanjoy took a bold decision and asked the driver to take the pregnant patient to IGH, Rourkela. Along with the pregnant lady in labour her mother in law too accompanied her in that taxi. By the time they crossed Biramitrapur area it was getting dark. The driver stopped the car near a Dhaba, took tea and some hot somosa.Sanjoy too took some and paid the bill. The driver was asked to drive carefully or else the lady may deliver on the way. The middle aged Guajarati lady was reciting hanuman chalisa.Intermittently the lady was shouting and crying as the uterus contracted. Sanjoy was thinking to himself what a Saturday; he should have refused that trip. The mother was asking Sanjoy to examine her daughter and tell whether she can reach the hospital or not, she too started crying. The lady could find a difference between a male medicine doctor and a gynic doctor. The driver shouted and asks them to keep quite as it disturbed his concentration on driving. Sanjoy took the hand of that lady and counted the pulse, examined her heart with the Littman stethoscope and said—don’t worry she will reach hospital safely and nothing is going to happen to her in the taxi. Sanjoy was consoling himself more than the ladies in the car. He went on telling soothing words to the mother as well as to her daughter in law as his own heart rate started to accelarate.
                                          The driver gave a suggestion to drop her in the next private nursing home so that the problem gets over, but the lady wanted IGH only. Sanjoy was upset and told the mother that they should have gone to Rourkela few days before the expected date. It was already dark when the taxi crossed Panposh.They could have dropped her at Rourkela Government hospital but Sanjoy decided to take her to IGH.
                                          The taxi went straight to the casualty department of IGH and dropped the patient. Sanjoy asked the casualty doctor and the in charge nurse to shift the patient immediately to the labour room. She was a private patient hence had to deposited money. The taxi driver dropped Sanjoy at his sector 18 house and went away. Sanjoy was a relieved man.
Next day Sanjoy wanted to know what happened to the lady patient he brought in the official taxi to IGH.Nurses on duty praised Sanjoy for the sweets and helping a pregnant lady patient. “But I did not send you any sweets” Sanjoy was curious to know who gave the sweets in his name.
He came to know that the rich Guajarati lady had distributed sweets after her daughter in law gave birth to a male child. She could not recognize Sanjoy the next day and said ‘she had given the doctor’s fees and taxi fare to the driver’. Sanjoy just smiled and left the ward.
Those were the days.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

PUNCTUALITY

PUNCTUALITY:

                                                                                  Pragati was a born late comer. Her mother used to tell his medical friends that ‘he was like this, since he arrived a week after expected date of delivery’. His friends knew it, his teachers, employer and neighbors all knew about his late coming habits. Pragati had a colleague named Pk, who was very much like him in ‘punctuality’. During marriage receptions and other functions if Pragati has already arrived  means, his friends would presume that they are late for the occasion. One thing good about them was that ‘tension’ was not in their dictionary.

                         There was an annual medical conference at Mumbai where Pragati and his senior colleague Pk, were to attend. Railway tickets and hotel booking were done quite in advance. A junior doctor named Sada was willing to drop them at the railway station. The train departure time was 21:15 hours at Rourkela. Sada first went to pick up Pk but he was not ready, had gone to toilet, his wife said and suggested Sada to pick up Pragati first.

                                                       Accordingly he went to Pragati’s house. Surprisingly he was ready. After Sada had driven his car for a few kilometers Pragati requested Sada to return back as he had forgotten the train tickets and ‘pan batua’. Some time was wasted that way, but there was plenty of time in hand as per Pragati, time was 20:20 hours. Remember there were neither mobile nor land phones with our main characters. It used to take twenty to twenty-five minutes to reach the railway station from the township.

                                                              In the mean while Pk was smoking and waiting near the gate. At last three of them proceeded for the railway station. ‘Three is not a good number to start a journey’ Pk muttered to self.

                                      Before entering the railway station there was one favorite tea shop of Pk and Pragati. The car stopped there. Sada was getting tensed up due to their callous attitude but did not utter a word as they were all very senior to him. After finishing their tea they took two packets of Wills Filter cigarette for the road.

‘Another fifteen minutes in hand.’ Pragati said.

“But that was the departure time, sir” Sada intervened.

They ran for their life with the luggage and entered the platform number one and watched the last ‘red light’ of the guard van of Bombay Express.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

                                                                                                                     

SIMILARITY

                    She is not Asharya Rai in black and white picture but she is Sheila Ramani, Miss Simla.
                    She was a Hindi film actress of 1954-6.Must watch her in Taxi Driver along with Devanad.

ATM--INDIA

 ATM Critiques:

                                                      HSBC -- the Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation -- was the first bank to introduce the ATM concept in India way back in 1987. Now, most of the banks have their ATM outlets in India.ATM stands for automated teller machine, some say-any time money. Before ATM we had manual teller system in certain banks, where one used to get cash in minutes. Now that due to shortage of new currency notes most of the ATMs are closed people are losing their sleep as if their money has been lost. The press people, opposition, cartoonists, politicians, dis-grunted public and some TV channels are making a big issue, as if ATM was the bread and butter of Indians. Before 1987 India was not ruined nor Indian died due to starvation because there was no ATM.The computerization was introduced in the banks after nationalization so also the teller machine system would reduce man power in the banks. With due excuse, most of the bank employees are trade union leaders and their attitude and behavior was different for common man and known customers when foreign banks came to India and they started this magic system of getting money from a machine like a fortune teller parrot. The number of employees remained as before and the service in different nationalized banks deteriorated further. Imagine an application for transfer of my bank account from Rourkela to Bhubaneswar has not reached the concerned Rourkela branch even after eight weeks? People are educated and can draw money through withdrawal slips or cheques then where is the problem? ATM has ruined many people’s life, even few were killed because they did not tell the pin of their ATM to the burgers?I think millions of rupees have been looted by different anti Indian out fits and thieves from ATM.Even our people do not stand in queue nor try to keep the Air conditioned  ATM clean. They spit pan, gitka and throw away the slips inside and outside the machine and keep the ATM door ajar when the leave the ATM. Citizens are so much concerned about swacha abhijan and discipline? When some steps have been taken by government the news papers are bent upon defaming the government with headlines—‘demonetization kills 87 people’!! Did any of our FB friends have such experience?                                            

                               Even few ex -army man and some ex- administrative officers who were part of the central government and get huge pension money are criticizing the government on demonetization and ATM in FB and Media. We have a tendency to criticize any new policy or new system in India. Whether it’s Congress or BJP or other regional party thrive on criticizing the center from lightening to demonetization deaths. If there is progress the regional party takes the credit but when it fails they say “center is creating problem”. This much for today, I do not want to irritate anti-Modi members further.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy

SANJOY UBACHO

A COUNTRY WHERE IT'S PEOPLE WORSHIP FRAUD, IMMORAL AND CORRUPT PEOPLE AND CHANGE RELIGION FOR PERSONAL GAINS IS DESTINED TO BE DESTROYED ONE DAY. (SANJOY UBACHO)

Topmost corrupt convicted politicians of India:

10. BS Yeddyurappa

9.  Mulayam Singh Yadav

8.  Jayalalithaa

7. Karunanidhi

6. Mayawati

5. Sharad Pawar

4. Madhu Koda

3. Lalu Prasad Yadav

2. A. Raja

1. Suresh Kalmadi