UNWANTED GUESTS

FACTITIOUS FUNCTION:



Amar’s heart starts to beat faster once he gets an invitation card on the occasion of
his friends or relatives son’s or daughter’s marriage ceremony.
The problem is the transport, next is when to start, whether to join the barat or not with those drunken dancers lasting for hours in the hot sun. What to wear, who else should accompany him and his wife. Lastly where to park the car?
The most important one is what to present as a gift?
With gold touching 15 thousand, a golden gift for a retired person is too painful.
But once Amar calculates per plate cost in a 5* hotel any thing less than one thousand may look miserly. With high blood pressure, uric acid and sugar levels food gets limited. Then the 500 rupees plate carries no meaning for him and his wife.
Amar’s wife is on diet as she has under gone a double knee replacement surgery recently costing few lacs.The surgeon has advised her not to put on any more weight or else the surgery will be a failure. There are no more members to compensate for the gift presented to the bride .No one introduces the guests nor any one is interested to make the party lovely and exciting, every one is busy with chicken bones or ice creams. If you are not careful the small ones running with huge servings of ice creams may spill your plate on your suit or a silk sari.
If at all you find some of your old lost friend in that “gathering” he may ask you about your house address (he will never come) and then what are the children doing? Are they married? How many grand children you have? Is he in India or abroad, every thing in one breath?
But Amar can make out that his friend had probably returned from USA recently by looking at the ill fitted suit and a white Nike shoes, most likely presented by his son when he and his wife had gone for baby sitting for a couple of months.
Every one seems to be in a hurry to go back home for the night dose of medicines.
The greatest nuisance which irritates Amar is the presence of more than fifty or more numbers of drivers rubbing shoulders with him. The poor fellow who has invited you has placed order for two only but how to adjust those few hundred extra plates? Two plus the driver (they are all voracious eaters) makes it three so three plates costs the host Rs1500 but the gift amount does not cost Rs101 orRs501 or some presentations which remain un utilized are gifted away.
The four and five year’s child also holds a plate (that too is being calculated) as if it can’t share the plate with the mother? This shows the sympathetic consideration for the friend. If it’s a son’s marriage then it’s the bride’s father who is paying the bill, so our hero’s father is least bother. What a way to waste of money? Amar thinks of the old system of calling friends and relatives to one’s house and serving them with steaming rice and other mouth watering food items under one’s supervision..
In this type of receptions the server does not even look at your face and puts the most useless piece of chicken or the mutton piece in your plate.
Those are the things of the past, majorities of the guests do not know who is getting married and where are they. Some times before the actual wedding the party is over. With a sixty-four(majority artificial) teeth smile by the couple the camera man goes on clicking the flush gun but who looks at those photographs after the function is a difficult to answer .
Amar looks lost in the A/C hall (most of the time none functioning or hall is hot due to the multiple burring candles.) and occupies a chair with the plate in one hand and mobile in the other. Ask his wife to finish off quickly as the maid will go away soon.

The maximum crowd is near the non vegetarian counter and the sweet stalls; you have to stand in the queue to get a plate and by the time you reach the counter the person goes out to bring more ice-cream so you pick up another sweet and raise your sugar levels. The diabetics come prepared with more insulin or tablets so that they can get back their money’s worth which they have given away as gifts.
While leaving the hall the host asks how the food was. Majority tells him the best in recent years!! As if it was cooked by his wife. Some guests even do not feel it is necessary to meet the host before boarding the car. The same stale food in all marriage functions be it at my fair, Razion, Taju-palace, Raju-Hindustani or Garden out etc. because the cooks are from the same school of hotel managements
The bill come a staggering Rs5.5 lac. And the guest forgets about the dinner the very next day with a stomach upset and gets prepared for another evening may be in the same hotel.

Sanjoy Kumar Satpathy
Patia
Bhubaneswar